Steering Clear of the Poop

Kit ‘n Kish 600k

Now kids, gather round while your jolly Uncle Mark dispenses some sage wisdom about how to lead a virtuous life. . .and how to be a successful randonneur.  The key thing you gotta remember is this: stay clear of poop.

  1. Avoid other people’s poop.
  2. Don’t poop on other people.
  3. Don’t poop on yourself.

If you can manage those three things, your odds of finishing a long ride, and the long ride of life, go up dramatically.

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Liquifaction

Firefly 400K
May 21, 2016

Those of us who have some attachment to Christchurch, New Zealand’s second largest city, have become sadly familiar with the term liquifaction.  It sounds like it should be a happy word, the word that someone would invent to describe the pleasant buzz you get from consuming just enough but not too much alcohol.  Or the feeling you get from gratefully immersing yourself in a warm bath.

In fact the term describes neither of those states.  Liquifaction is what happens to particular types of land formations when they are subjected to a strong earthquake.  I will spare you the elaborate geological summary, and instead just say that one moment the ground is apparently solid and stable, the next it turns to water.  The solid structures built atop that heretofore solid land crack, bend, and often collapse.  As an added bonus, the process can concentrate heavy elements normally present in the soil but locked harmlessly away, depositing them as a toxic mess on the surface or releasing them into the air as a hazardous dust.

By now you are probably getting the sense that this particular brevet did not go well for me.

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Some Roads Are Less Traveled for a Very Good Reason

Rando Roundup

It has been a strange year, randonneuring wise, and a lot of that can be attributed to the fact that it is a Paris-Brest-Paris year.  This 1200k ride is the equivalent of the World Championships of randonneuring.  It only comes around every 4 years, and you have to ride a complete Super Randonneur series (a 200k, 300k, 400k, 600k) the year before to ensure your registration, and then ride another in the same calendar year to qualify.  Thousands of riders from all around the world meet in Paris in August to try and complete the ride from Paris to the coast and back in 90 hours (or less; there are other time categories for the genuinely insane).  Quite a few people from our local club were participating but I was not among them.

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Moar Randonneuring! Now With Extra Protein!

Frederick 300K
April 18, 2015

The Good Stuff

At the end of the ride, begrimed, sucking down delicious high fructose corn syrup products and waiting for the Pizza to arrived I was talking with Mike, the DCR club president.  “You know,” he said, “I always read your blog and enjoy it, even if I have to skip some to get to the good stuff.”  I wasn’t at all offended.  I assumed that he was thinking about posts like my last one, where my rando report was seemingly tacked on to a philosophical disquisition about the influence of middle-of-the road Greek pop singers.  But I had to laugh; that is one of the things I like most about writing (and reading): what counts as the “good bits” is different for everyone.  For my rando comrades these posts probably can’t contain enough bike geekery: they will delight in arcane discussions about the TPI of tires, the actual versus claimed lumens of lighting systems, and the dark magic arcana of wheel specs.  For more normal people, the philosophical disquisitions probably represent the good (or at least the OK) bits and then it all goes rapidly downhill.

The short version of today’s ride: lots of going rapidly downhill, lots of good bits, lots of extra bits, and a bit of actual and metaphorical darkness.  Pretty much a typical brevet.  And after the last two rides, “typical” was more than welcome.

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Clearing out the Cobwebs

Warrenton 300k
April 4, 2015

When it Really was all Greek to me

In between the time when Greece was the cradle of Democracy and the time when it became the grave of European Community, there was a period where Greeks seemed to be making a concerted assault on middlebrow popular music.

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Here’s Mudd in Yer Eye

Roadsign for Dr. Samuel Mudd Rd

A Road to Somewhere

I spend a great deal of my biking life doing one of three things: commuting, training, or participating in events.  While those activities are often singularly enjoyable, what they all lack is another primary source of cycle-related pleasure: exploration.  Perhaps inspired by my recent sojourn in New Zealand where my partner and I did a lot of exploring by bike, I’ve been trying to throw in a few more exploratory rides myself.

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If I’m doing this, then it must be. . .spring?

Coffee and Pastries 200k
March 14 2015

Today’s Lesson: When someone strongly suggests you should take a detour, take the goddamned detour.  Or not.

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